is there a line?

we love to laugh
and we don't care about your expenses

you know who you are

you are profound peoples.
you, of clear sight.
you, of pure hearts.
you, of ancient wisdom.

it is my pleasure to be in this world with you.

merry merry.
happy everyday.

spread cheer.
ripple.

terrifying gorgeous Life,
i embrace You.

questions to scream in a parking lot

where am i going?
what am i doing?
who's coming with me?

spinning
and spinning
and falling.

the winter wonder

leaning against the wind
in boots and a cape
wielding a shovel
and rocking people out of a mess

get your superpower on


but i cannot help you if you don't want to be helped.
check your attitude and gender bias at the door, loves,
because outside it's cold and you didn't come prepared.

dancing in the kitchen

i dance every morning to survive.
i sit for twenty minutes at a time.
i smile about things you can't see.
i laugh at pretty much everything.

a beautiful mess?

life ain't really hard, but it sure as hell ain't easy.

calm and all bumped about

this continues to be one of the most horrendous, yet hilarious, times of my life. simultaneously the least and greatest story ever told. i have never been so proud or embarrassed, so tired and well rested. i am at once loud as ever and soundless; never so understood and made to confuse; so unchallenged and so challenging, and even still, the opposite.

still, i am running.
standing here, i spin.


i go laughing.

screw this noise

be still, yo.

children are more beautiful people than adults.

get outside the lunch box, even.

when i think of all the space there is on the internet
and these other realms of just infinite possibility
like the creative tendencies of the mind

and just all of these all of these all of these
all of these experiences

it's
just how infinite all of this is always
and just how little we are actually doing with it

be infinite, already.

trash all over the place - but it already is.

i jumped a fence today
by a sort-of-beautiful beautiful bridge
- all fence and graffitied.
watched the water coming in.
sat by some garbage.

over the fence
water going going going.
and a grocery cart.
overturned, going nowhere.

but why do we pile it up all in once place?
out of sight, overturned, going nowhere.
why do we pile it up out of our faces?
shouldn't we see where it's going?

what if we scattered it over the place?


do you think we could change?
when we hardly notice anything.?

one flew over the cuckoo's nest

"I've heard that theory of the Therapeutic Community...how a guy has to learn to get along in a group before he'll be able to function in a normal society; how the group can help the guy by showing him where he's out of place; how society is what decides who's sane and who isn't, so you got to measure up. All that stuff... how the goal of the Therapeutic Community is a democratic ward, run completely by the patients and their votes, working toward making worth-while citizens to turn back Outside onto the street."

so school is like a mental institution, and children are insane.
and both institutions are running under the same by-the-people-for-the-people pretense.

give me insane any day.

with my shoulders up by my ears

i wonder how many people are just wandering around grinding their bones and their teeth away with tension, thinking they feel just fine. like: this is just how it feels to be alive.

while here i am, biting my tongue, because i know it can be better.

but maybe this is just how it feels to be alive.

remember:

I dreamed the world had all agreed
To put an end to war.
(strangest dream by ed mccurdy)

scatter your arms, people.
scatter 'em around each other.

this is called hugging.

whatever it is

and you don't need to convince someone of something for it to be so. it is so for you, and so it is. so, too, let it be so for someone else.

it is easy.
granted, it is also impossible.

figure that one out.

welcome, Love.

if enough people in the world saw enough babies...

you, catalyst.

it is encouraging to know that some people do, in fact, know better. do, in fact, exist outside the box.

i see your rage, and i rejoice; someone has to hold that frequency for the rest of us. someone has to create a space where the mainstream is questioned. someone has to point at it and say: you are lying to us and you will not get away with it.

but as for me, i cannot rage. hope is the wave that i ride. and when they finally hear you and want for change, too, i will still be sitting here, holding this space for all that mighty mighty potential.

we are the keepers of a spectrum.
we are the soldiers of evolution.

but we don't fight. we surf.

how long have you been standing there?

it's a great big ball
and you're moving around with it
slowwwww
ly,


but imagining.

everybody needs a rock

i am forever etched in the fabric of this universal existence.
we are forever etched.
i rock for you.
you rock for me.

i saved up this hug for you, the whole walk home.
we are forever embracing.
i rock for you.
you rock for me.

only once, even, is infinite.

and writing about it makes it so

i'm sitting here, in a patch of sour kids. and paying attention to everything. the sweet taste, the sour, the rough edges and how it's good rough, anyway - like itching. or maybe poking a bruise. and the smell, and how i can't always figure out if i'm tasting or smelling or both. or just imaging it all. and remember whens and wheres and whos.

my whole life in a patch of sour kids.

either you're here or you're not

i'm turning over a new leaf.
it's my autumn theme.

yup, still just me.

i am writing secret messages in public. i'm hiding right here in the open. i'm telling you things right to your face, but you are missing everything.

no, you're no code breaker.
you're no meaning maker.
you're no analyzer.

this is how i remain a hermit, with all you people still around.

a robot for irony

i have fantasies of competence. i have ideas all over the place. i'm all save the world.

i'm getting back to bigger than this.


they are building a box, sure. but no one told you how to use it. maybe i got inside it, but i made holes for a robot head and arms.

knock knock

who's there?

not a teacher.

x factor

it took me a while to remember what i was doing here
and then it was all 10:04 all over the place

a gatorade explosion.

everybody lurking everywhere

everybody's whispering in the halls
because everybody you're talking about is walking right behind you

welcome to the fish bowl

i miss being that back of the class kid.
that waaaaaay back of the class kid.

i miss that little fish feeling.
i miss that big pond.

i want to see where he's going with this

who are we to say that anyone's artistic interpretation is wrong? forgetting how i feel about wrongness in general (and how it doesn't really exist), but art? come on. really? i'm supposed to grade this? a three minus because he didn't comply? a two plus, even?

but it's perfectly brilliant.
perfect and brilliant.

four plus, i guess... if you're trapped in the levels.

my name is angus

hello, princess henrietta the third.

i feel very good about this. very good indeed.

even my beak hand is talking about it. talking about it to every beak hand who'll listen.

my beak hand has a turkey's voice.

if you understand this message, you've gone insane.

you've entered my happy place.

talk to the hand, loves. talk to the hand.

i am important in my insignificance. so what if i talk to the stars?

thank you to anyone or anything that saved me

i could whine about how my day went, i guess.
but then again, who cares?
and at the end of the day, right?
... there's always ice cream.

so i'm working on a little perspective.
learning from mistakes, and oh boy, am i learning.
whatever doesn't kill you, type stuff.
... or at least, beer.

they're bound to learn something

i was getting blood work done and the technician told me at some point, someone hands you a needle and tells you to stick it in someone's arm. i guess it's like that. i guess at some point, you just have to start somewhere.

you did feel competent, at some point.

and you never really believed in all this prescribed curriculum anyway.
and anyway, you don't answer to the man.
you're responsibility is to the children.

learning reading

sometimes i wish i could just look
- just look - and not to read a book
just look at words and only see
a circle and a line, not 'p'
a line and then a dot, not 'i'
converging lines and not a 'y'
a jagged line, not 'w'
that little tail on letter 'q'
but ever since i learned to read
i cannot help it, i just need
to see a letter, make a word
the meaningful from the absurd

this box is confining

sometimes i watch myself from the trees.
i find my monkey self most perplexed by my monkey self sitting in a classroom.

like what are you doing in there?

deep in disillusionment

i was having a philosophical discussion with myself about the five stages. you know:

anticipation
disillusionment
confrontation
competence
culmination

and about anticipation. or expectations, in general. and about striving for a state of zen, a place of non-expectation - that perma-stuck in this moment and this moment alone thing. how you could cut out the first two steps, and whether or not they are really necessary.

you see i'm trying to avoid that second step.

a series of digs that might get me in a hole i can't get out of.

it's deep in here.

but that's the thing about a hole, people. that's the thing about a shovel. it may take some more digging, but a gradual incline will always get you out of a hole. always. it's just science, people.

but it's also interdisciplinary.

eventually, you will be able to just climb out of them.

or fly, even.

and whether or not i would even want to skip the disillusionment part, stop getting into that hole altogether. but missing out on the high that follows. cause again, that's just science. just the nature of being in or out of a hole.

and looking down on a hole you conquered.

like the euphoria that comes after excruciating pain.

ironman frees town, eats fence

it's not what's happening in that building, stuck between those walls. it's what's happening all around it, and inside our heads.

are you digging it, yet?
did you even buy your shovel?

i am encouraging you to dig holes through the floor and out to the other side. remember always you are never trapped. i am encouraging you to dig everything. make holes and piles everywhere. and holes and piles again.

strange creatures take down fences. even stranger people build them back up again. me, i'm just digging my way everywhere. and sometimes my shoulder gets a little sore.

but i've made an awesome trail.